The rollercoaster of starting a PhD while working in FE - what no one tells you

By Beth Wolstenholme, 14-16 Foundation Learning Manager at Calderdale College, and Research Further Scholar  

Alongside my college role, I am a Research Further Scholar now undertaking a PhD. When I decided to start down this road, I had no idea of the hoops that needed to be jumped through before even starting the programme. Or the emotional rollercoaster it would take me on.

It is estimated that only 0.5-1% of people hold a doctoral degree globally, with averages rising up to 2% in developed nations including the UK (Clubbs Coldron, 2023). With costs upward of £15,000 in the UK and a staggering $100,000 in the USA (Tobyn, 2023), there are many barriers to consider including financial, practical, emotional and clerical!

The first thing to consider was the topic. I knew I wanted to do a PhD but any ideas I had seemed to have been done before, leaving no room for me to contribute new knowledge. After a brainstorm with a close friend around salient issues and topics in my realm of experience and passions, I found my topic. It was like striking gold and I couldn’t believe no-one had explored it before.

Next came the proposal. I was in the fortunate position of having a colleague who has not only been through the PhD process herself, but also has supervised doctoral candidates. Her support and advice were invaluable in guiding my early proposal drafts and narrowing down my vision of the topic.

Once the proposal was written came the quest for funding. I had planned to apply to become a Research Further Scholar following another colleague's success and recommendation. I’d hoped my proposal was strong enough, but if not, I would go back to the drawing board and try again next year. However, I was ecstatic to learn I had been successful; my dream felt a lot closer and a lot more realistic!

Applying for a PhD is not as easy as applying for a regular course. All the universities I considered required you to have a supervisor on board to support your application, before you can apply. I was not prepared for the difficulty of this. Finding a supervisor whose research and specialism aligns with your own, is willing to reply to your emails, let alone take you on felt impossible. After several unanswered emails and ignored requests for guidance, I reached out to a lecturer I highly respected from my MA course. Thankfully, he was interested and also knew another wonderful lecturer who was willing to get involved.

With supervisors now on board, I had to apply, submit my proposal and interview to gain a place on the programme. Again came the agonising wait to find out if my application was accepted and my goals were possible.

All in all, from start to finish, the process had taken roughly six months, and I was yet to begin! During these 6 months, I was met with mixed responses from those around me. Some people thought I was crazy. “Why would you want to study when you don't have to?”; “When will you find time?”; “How will you manage the workload?”, while others supported my decision and encouraged me to chase the dream.

These mixed responses reflected in my feelings and emotions. I was constantly (and still am!) swaying between feeling empowered and excited, to feeling overwhelmed and like an imposter. It is the imposter days that I focus on small tasks to get ahead, seek guidance from my supervisors and speak to my supporters who understand what this means to me. From reading online, it seems my experience is not unusual, and these feelings are to be expected. 

I realised people will talk down things they don’t understand or would scare them, but the people who know you best, will cheer you on and celebrate every win with you.