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- Creative Writing in FE - Developing student voice through the written word
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- Judgement by Aine Kavanagh, Suffolk New College
Judgement by Aine Kavanagh, Suffolk New College
February 2022
I often wonder, who knows what we’re thinking.
A mind can be an endless abyss which only shows a spec of its true self, just like in a storm under the rocky surface of the sea it will appear calm, peaceful and still but only when you have felt it. Do you know the pain of being tossed and turned in the infinite currents of the sea that flow like a maze, ever changing?
With each spec of thought that comes to the surface forms the world that surrounds us whether that is the devils looming judgement to cripple us or a guardians judgement helping us aim for the stars.
I remember being told strongly that I should not judge other people since judgement can cause great harm and be discriminative, isolating them from society.
I don’t disagree with this since personally, as I have been mocked and isolated for my physical appearance that then made me feel cut off from my peers and unable to talk to and open up to either my family or friends for a long time; I constantly felt like I was being weighed down by chains that were endless and growing with my own overlapping, conflicting thoughts as it further engulfs my body. With more and more varying social media platforms people are able to enjoy being more expressive, however it is just as easy for an unknown cloaked figure behind the keyboard to be discriminative in reply- unfortunately this is a common occurrence. These experiences don’t vanish from ones memory and can leave lasting effects.
So what is the importance of judgement?
What a journey the world today has gone through constantly being reshaped. The shape of the world today , ever changing, was moulded by the choices of the ghosts that had walked their journeys in the past. Change is as malleable as clay the results can either be: in the hands of an artist who delicately shapes it; as malleable as clay in the hands of a child who is chaotically destructive. Both creating something new.
Judgement can either be the greatest weapon a human can grasp or be the most prosperous shield humans can grip.
Being a weapon that can cause countries to slash at each other from border to border; dragging thousands of innocent people into conflict that is like a thread tied to them that can’t be untied. Bodies can pile up, grow with each passing second as people are engulfed by the after masses. Poverty, starvation, results of one person’s judgement.
The cracks left displayed throughout history’s corridors are the result of the endless battering received by judgement’s sword that’s endured by the passage of time. Every human choice can either be a new pebble to stabilise the walls or be another emerging crack spreading and branching into the walls destabilising the corridors.
I wonder when the corridors will collapse?
I wonder who’s judgement will commit the final beating?
I wonder what made them make their choice?
And I wonder why?
Did their choice benefit them or someone else, or did it just harm people or their surroundings?
Can the damage done be repaired by the new pebbles formed by someone’s good judgement? A single pebble may be as strong and sturdy as diamond alone; a stack of rocks are unsynchronised and unstable, that even wind is their enemy. Are the pebbles actually repairing the walls or only slowing down the inevitable by creating a flimsy barricade?
However, the cracks made by the destructive judgement only grow relentlessly and firmly claiming new ground.
Shattered. Memories are fractured and split between: memories of undeniable joy that bring excitement with a thought; to memories of agonising pain that bring saddening tears with just a flash of the past.